For many couples, squirting, also known as female ejaculation or gushing, is like Bigfoot: it seems interesting, but is it really a thing? Yes, squirting is a thing, and it can be incredible for both partners!
A recent study showed that about 50% of women have squirted during sexual activity, and a large percentage of those women gush regularly and consider it an enrichment to their sexual lives.
The chances are that you’ve almost squirted before, but you held it back because it felt different. This guide explains what squirting is and how you can learn to enjoy it, too.
What’s So Great About Squirting?
Squirting has an incredible feeling of release that’s not quite the same as an orgasm, but it still feels fantastic. Gushing is described as a profoundly satisfying letting go, or a total-body relaxing release. A woman may feel warmth and a loss of control that’s combined with a feeling of being utterly care-free for a moment.
When a woman squirts, it isn’t like an orgasm where she reaches a peak of pleasure and then comes down quickly. A woman usually squirts independently from orgasm, and her level of arousal doesn’t change after squirting.
Letting Go With Your Spouse
Squirting happens in a moment of complete surrender. The vulnerability of fully letting go can create a very intimate experience with your spouse.
Getting Past Embarrassment
Squirting can get messy, but it’s so worth it! Women who’ve squirted before might worry about the mess they’ll make, or their spouse will think it’s gross or dirty. Wives might also struggle with the way almost-squirting feels like almost-peeing.
Recent scientific research has discovered the liquid that’s released when a woman squirts is a mixture of prostatic secretions and urine. It’s a clear liquid that originates from her Skene’s glands, or “the female prostate.”
Sex Tip: We suggest laying on top of a few towels, or even better, lay on a waterproof throw that’s specifically designed for protecting bedding and furniture from sexual fluids. You may also purchase a shower curtain and place it over your bed with a towel on top. Protecting your bedding or furniture from your liquids eases your anxiety and allows you to relax and enjoy the ride.
The bottom line is that you must embrace the mess totally and welcome the wetness and vulnerability as a super liberating thing.
Finding a Technique that Works For You
There are a few techniques that tend to make a woman squirt, but every woman is different. There isn’t a magic method or routine that will make her gush. The technique that will lead to squirting produces a weird, unfamiliar feeling of tension building up, queasiness, or urge to pee. Whichever technique gives her that feeling, do more of it. What works for one woman might not work for another, and what worked one time might not work the next time.
It takes a while to build up the tension that will be released as a squirt, and it can’t be rushed. Take the time to flirt and think sexy thoughts about your spouse throughout the day. Start the night off by giving your wife a sensual massage that leads to lots of foreplay. Turn off the lights and light a candle or two if she’s not comfortable with her body. The goal is for her to be comfortable, relaxed, and very turned on.
The types of stimulation that lead to squirting are usually faster movements and with more pressure than what usually feels good. The initial buildup to gushing also often doesn’t feel pleasurable at first.
Whenever you get close to squirting, it will feel like you need to pee. Instead of holding it in, relax through it, and let go. Bear down instead of contracting and pulling back. Subsequent gushes usually come more easily after your first one.
So, the task at hand is to find a type of stimulation that gives your wife that odd feeling of tension building or the feeling of needing to pee. When you find what works, use it during the three stages of squirting we talk about below.
Here are some techniques that tend to make women squirt. Give them a try and see what works for you.
Sex positions that allow firm, constant g-spot stimulation may make her gush. Use shallow, fast strokes, and keep lots of pressure on her vagina’s upper wall. Here are a few sex positions that may work.
Sex Tip: You may need to pull out or stop and remain still as she squirts.
If she can gush during sex, great, but many men can’t last long enough for it to happen. Here are some manual stimulation techniques that might work.
BANG BANG Manual Stimulation Technique
The BANG BANG Manual Stimulation Technique uses two fingers and a firm, steady, fast tapping motion to stimulate the g-spot.
Sex Tip: It may help if the g-spot stimulation in any of these techniques is paired with intense clitoral stimulation from fingers or a vibrator.
Come-Hither Clasp Manual Stimulation Technique
The Come-Hither Clasp Manual Stimulation Technique uses two fingers and a come-hither motion to stimulate the g-spot.
Reverse Come-Hither Manual Stimulation Technique
The Reverse Com-Hither Manual Stimulation Technique uses two fingers’ knuckles to stimulate the g-spot.
Use a Dildo or Vibrator
Use a curved dildo or g-spot vibrator to stimulate her g-spot by inserting it two or three inches into her vagina and pressing it firmly against the top wall of her vagina while moving it in and out in short, quick motions.
Sex Tip: You may need to pull the dildo or vibrator out as she ejaculates. Communication is essential here.
These manual stimulation techniques can be used by themselves or together. For example, you can use only the BANG BANG stimulation technique, or you can start with the Reverse Come-Hither technique, transition to the Come-Hither Clasp technique, and end with the BANG BANG technique. Try different things, and figure out what works for you. Half of the fun is trying, right?
Three Stages of Squirting
Squirting is usually achieved in three stages: warmup, buildup, and release. Think about the three stages as a rollercoaster ride. Warmup is the anticipation of the fun ahead during the trip to the park and walk to the roller coaster. Buildup is when you’re being seated on the ride and the slow journey up the long, tall hill. Release is when you roll over the top of the first hill and dive down. Let me explain in more detail.
Once you’ve found a technique that generates the type of stimulation that makes you feel that unique tension buildup or the need to pee, you’re going to work with that.
Start by spending a lot of time warming up the area really well, and slowly building up the intensity. Go slow and take your time; there’s no need to rush.
Sex Tip: A technique called edging may work for you during warmup. Edging takes you nearly to orgasm and then backs off. Repeat this a few times to really prime your pump and generate lots of tension and anticipation.
Increase the pressure, speed, and consistency of the stimulation. The pressure being placed on her erogenous zone needs to be more than usual, and the speed of the movements need to be faster than usual, too.
She’ll start to feel an increasing tension building up within her. Sometimes it takes several minutes of consistent stimulation to build up tension, so patience and a comfortable position are essential. Just keep it steady and repeat the motion over and over again.
Once the tension or pressure inside feels like you’re going to burst, use one or a combination of these techniques to trigger squirting.
Unclench Your Muscles
Clench your internal pelvic muscles like you’re holding the pressure and tension that’s being built up within during the buildup phase, and then when you can’t keep it in anymore, relax your muscles and release the flood gates.
After the tension has been built up to what feels like your limit, an increase in speed and pressure from the manual stimulation technique might be what it takes to bring you over the edge.
Staying super consistent with the amount of pressure, speed, and type of motion is enough for some women to ejaculate once they’ve built up enough tension.
Some wives gush when they bear down like they’re pushing something out.
When she’s full of tension and ready to open the dam, pulling out whatever is in her vagina tends to open the floodgates and cause her to release and squirt.
The Amount Will Vary
Some women squirt a few drops, and others will gush a half a cup. Some women dribble while others squirt a pretty strong stream.
Wisdom for Husbands
Your Reaction Matters
How you react when she squirts will most likely determine how she feels about it. If the sight of her ejaculation turns you on, she’ll most likely be turned on, too. If you make a face or get grossed out by her squirting, she’ll probably not want to do it again and be embarrassed.
A husband can get so focused on making their wife squirt that she feels pressured as though he cares more about achieving a goal than about her pleasure. Squirting is incredible, but if she feels pressured, it most likely won’t happen.
The process of relaxing her, building up tension, and release usually means a long continuous stimulation session. Your wife may feel that she’s taking too long, or you’re getting tired or not having any fun. Make it clear to her that she’s not taking too long, and there is no time limit, and you’re enjoying every bit of it regardless if she squirts or not.